The alarm goes off at 6 in the morning. I peep out of my covers. It is still dark outside. I put one toe out of the quilt. It is cold too. I pull my toe back into the safe confines of the warm jaipuri razai and start on my guilt trip. For what, you ask? For the fact that I just laid to rest my plans of working out early in the morning. Again. But this is a guilt trip which won’t last long. Before you can say the work oink, I am back into that sweet sweet world of dreams. Only, the next hour of my sleep won’t really be filled with sweet dreams but with morning terrors of contemplating the day that lies ahead.
The alarm goes off again at 7. I put it on snooze and start the task of getting myself, body part by body part, out of bed. It is not easy. Every second my conscience keeps questioning the purpose of my cruel intentions of getting out of bed. It keeps raising eyebrows at my attempts to smother its oh-so-powerful voice. I keep duelling with my inner self which has suddenly decided that going to work like a regular person is so passe. And just when I think I’m winning the battle against these monsters, they bring out their most powerful weapon “what if”. what if sends out a thousand soldiers. What if I had taken history over science in 11th grade? What if I had taken engineering over dentistry in college? What if I had decided to not pursue a postgraduation at all?
What if is soon followed by WHY? Why am I doing this? Why did I ever agree to move to this city? Why couldn’t I just be content with my life back home? Why did I want more? And the biggest question… why couldn’t I have done a little research before joining a god-forsaken course in a god-forsaken college in a god-forsaken city? These are followed in quick succession by unhibitedness, the soul sister of stupidity. And I decide “to hell with the world, I am going back to bed”
Just moments after I make this momentous decision, reality comes out of the closet, slaps me hard in the face and pushes me to get a move on. With a rush of hormones like in a fight and flight situation I throw back the covers, and jump out of bed only to realise that the floor is brrrrrrrrr cold. But no! I am not getting back in there. The best thing to do is step into the shower. Before we proceed further let me give you a little nugget of information- the human brain is not at its best in the morning, specially when it is still asleep. It can make you do stupid things, like getting into a cold shower on cold freezing morning by making you believe it’s the healthy thing to do.
Moving on. After I almost die in the shower, of two heart attacks and innumerable electric shocks, I come out to probably the best part of my day- the five minutes where I’ll look into the mirror adjusting my hair while gaily sipping on a cup of piping hot sugary-milky tea. Did I mention I am quite the narcissist?
Before I know it, it’s 9 and I find myself in a dinghy old crumbling at the seams building, even the paint is peeling off the walls. It looks tired and sick of life. Ah. If only euthanasia had been legal! I would have been more than happy to pull the plug on this old thing, give it the respectful death it does deserve. I read about the traits of a scorpio zodiac in a book a while back and somewhere in the fine text it mentioned that these insanely awesome signs can make great murderers. It is only after moving to this place I realised that truer words have never been written. I am so adept at this planning of a murder that I have already killed them a thousand times in thousand different ways and buried them(*in some instances, alive*) while maintaining a calm and cool as a cucumber exterior. Allow me to let you in onto a little secret….or maybe in my next post? Because right now I’m busy coming up with plans to do something I should be doing but I probably won’t do….
Ah! Don't we all continuously face this struggle? I empathize with you. But all this fades into insignificance a few years on. The Jaipur radar- that's another matter!!!
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